By acting like one of the boys I climbed up through the hierarchy. I earned a seat at the table and had a voice in creating menus and running the kitchen. But I paid a hefty price.
For Whitman, camaraderie isn’t just a matter of sharing your goals and working together, nor is it just talking out loud about your feelings. It’s about sharing the very essence of yourself.
It is by becoming aware of and ultimately resisting the cultural structures and systems in play – that racialise non-white bodies and romanticise Eurocentric beauty – that I can finally not give a damn about the uneven, slow-growing nature of my body and facial hair.
The only way to ensure that there are no blurred lines is to choose to actively listen to what your partner is saying: both with their words and with their body.
Perhaps the most dangerous appeal of the controlling, possessive, jealous Alpha hero is the idea that I could be the woman to tame him.